Where are the Beautiful Ones Gone?
I’ve been wondering why I have been single for the most part of my life despite being at a good position to seduce all the girls that I want. I have a big house (though I’m still to clear paying the mortgage), a beautiful car and a good job. Of course I have good looks too. However, whenever I try dating I always end up with those old bitches who have been drained all their ‘blood’ and they have to be parasitic to suck some from me.
The beautiful one, of my status usually avoids me like the bubonic plague. This has always puzzled me for the last 7 years since I graduated from college. What about me do ladies avoid? Last weekend, while having a beer with my friends, I was intrigued to realize that my personality was the barrier to the best things in this life. I don’t mean that I have a bad attitude or easily get disgusted by people. No. the problem with me is that my church-loving parents taught me a lot of sincerity.
They taught me to be open if at all I was to nail on a deal. But when it comes to dating, being sincere can be one of the worst mistakes that you will ever make. Before you start cursing me, just hear me out. Unless of course you want to be kept waiting for 14 years like the biblical Jacob before you land that chick that you always dream of.
One thing which is common in almost all ladies, even the serious type like the young attorneys you usually see around, is that they love an exciting first approach. Simply they love lies. I know you will mistake me here, but you must realize the truth is seldom exciting. Actually the truth is always boring. Therefore to make it a bit more exciting, you have to patch it with some creative lies. Of course lying requires a lot of creativity, if at all you will have to sound convincing. And these lies usually excite ladies.
Even if you love sincerity like me, when it comes to dealing with ladies, there is need to have a threshold of the truth that you will tell them. Set you threshold to be at least 90% truth and 10 % lies if you love sincerity like I do. After all, your competitors might be telling her 90% lies and 10% truth. Guess who is losing? You.
Lying Can Land you into Trouble
At least this was what I learned from the beer sessions and decided to try it practically. I left the company of my friends and approached two ladies that had just arrived at the restaurant. Of course they were welcoming and accommodative. I then went ahead to boast about my financial progress as had been earlier advised. To prove it all, I ensured that I bought the most expensive drinks and foods for the night.
I must have taken the whole idea of lying a bit far because as I drank more alcohol, I also intensified in varying my financial prospects. It came to a point that even though I was ‘exciting’ they were buying the stories that I was giving them. At one point, I seem to remember, I even claimed to be vegan as one of the ladies was. I was too drunk by then and I could see my friends laughing from their table. Maybe they thought that I was making a fool of myself. I was however convinced that I would prove them wrong and thus continued with my lying.
It reached a point where the beer I had taken was too much and I blacked out. Later I was awoken by a strange guy only to find that the ladies were gone. I became embarrassed later to learn that the guy was gay and it was my friends who had duped him into thinking that I was too gay and in search of a partner. I hurriedly thanked him before joining my friends who dropped me home. In the morning, I realized that I had spent too much and maxed out my credit card and yet I was still single. Someone should teach me how to become a better liar. I don’t want to die a bachelor. Someone heeeeeelp.
Okay, I will wait for my future wife even though I know that she may waking up right now after spending an exciting night at your place while I spent a sleepless night on the couch battling with some armed mosquitoes which were buzzing around my face the whole night. Make sure that you take really good care of that future wife before she eventually ends my bachelorhood.